‘Resistance is loyalty to the old and prevents development. Every expectation is thus linked to something already known. Only what shakes me to the core leads me onward. The rigidity breaks, growth follows. In the end we can only marvel at where we find ourselves’.
Bert Hellinger
We are an integrative part of bigger systems – such as family, friends, community, nation…. These systems are mutually influencing each other. When I am ok, I am able to contribute to the whole’s well-being. And when the whole is OK, it contributes to my well-being.
Family constellations, developed by the German philosopher and psychotherapist Bert Hellinger, is an approach to create space for change, to find workable and sustainable steps for long-term change while we are accepting and respecting our personal history.
When you know the problem inside out but for some reason you couldn’t find a resolution, Family (Systemic) constellations can bring the unseen to the surface and help you to find a resolution that feels comforting to your heart and soul, and you’ll be able to move towards your own life without feeling guilty about it.
It offers help with difficult experiences addressing personal, family, social and organisational problems. It helps to reveal the hidden dynamics in order to address any stressors impacting these relationships and heal them.
The change comes from acknowledging what hasn’t been acknowledged before, and giving it its rightful place in our heart and soul.
On a session:
We will look at the issues you bring, in the context of the wider systems in which they reside. The systems look at may include your:
- Family of origin and ancestors
- Cultural origins
- Individuals with whom you share significant events
- Significant relationships
- Workplace or organisation in which you belong
We will talk about the issues you bring and then about the system relevant to your enquiry.
Family constellations
We are part of multiple systems within family, community and culture. With systemic constellations you can see, recognise and feel how these different systems might impact you, your life and your actions. The aim is to create space for movement. And free us from any entanglements we might be part of within our family system.
Family systems in this work consist of all the previous generations that made your life possible – these include ancestors and everyone else who had an impact on family members.
In Family constellations we look at everyone’s and everything’s place in the interconnected groups or systems to which they belong, rather than simply focusing on the individual in an isolated way. There is a field around us that holds all the information we need. Rupert Sheldrake compares it to the field that is around a flock of birds or a school of fish that are able to make sudden changes in their direction. And while they do this, every single member in that group knows which way to go. They never bump into each other.
When the system is in balance love flows freely and you feel supported on your life journey. However, often we experience the opposite – that something is out of order and whatever we do, we always bump into obstacles, things ‘just never work out’ seemingly with no reason. This can mean that love can’t flow freely in the system and there is an imbalance. This needs to be disentangled in order for you to experience the support and sense of harmony, so you are fully supported.
The Orders of Love
Bert Hellinger, who pioneered this work, suggested that when love (from different generations) can’t flow freely in a family, that’s when problems, and issues occur.
When the Orders aren’t acknowledged there is an obstacle in the system that can be manifested and made visible by different difficulties (health issues, addictions, problematic relationships etc). This imbalance in the system can be caused by different stressors (trauma, war, injustice…) Often they are deeply unconscious.
These Orders need to be respected for love, and energy to flow more freely. When they are respected a shift is created that has a profound effect on our personal, family, and social life in general. They are guidelines, not strict rules.
These are the Orders in the systemic constellations:
- Place – everyone has a place within the system
- Time – we acknowledge who came before us
- Belonging – everyone has the right to belong to the system
- Exchange – an equal give and take must be maintained in the system in order for everyone to benefit from the system
How?
The work is done either in a group setting or in a 1-2-1 session. In a group setting, there is a facilitator, the issue holder and helpers. The helpers are there to be representatives of the elements of the problem the issue holder would like to work with.
In a 1-2-1 session, the facilitator is using figurines to represent the issue.
What to expect after a session?
This isn’t a quick fix, short-lived solution. It can take some months for the full benefits of a single Family constellations session to unfold in your life and the life of those around you. However, there will be immediate relief and clarity of your issue.
You don’t need to understand it rationally, just allow the constellations to unfold naturally.
Family constellations can bring you new insights and solutions with the followings*:
- Relationship issues (romantic, family, work)
- Divorce & Separation
- Cultural issues
- Death and loss
- Loneliness, addiction
- Looking for some answers
- Depression & Confusion
- Career issues & conflict
- Incest & Violence
- Health issues
- Secrets, Guilt & Shame
- Anxiety, Grief, obsessive thoughts
* it isn’t limited to these issues only
Session details:
Online or in person 60mins – 90mins: £100.00 *
Let go of the final outcome (solution). Focus on the next step.
EmpFinity Constellations 